Infinity.

A message to you:

Hey brah, the thing is, we share the same situation. No worries! 

Cause, if I'm still hanging on, you can too! :)

A question from my English lecturer: 

"You're a teenager now, going to be an adult soon. What obstacle(s) have you been facing/ faced before/ in this time period before turning into an adult? 

An answer from the presenter: 

"I've screwed up my SPM. And to be honest with myself, I know I'm not good in studies. I'm not those top students with excellent results. I've tried my best to study hard, trying to make my parents feel proud having me as their son. Trying to let them know I will study hard and bring the 'distinctions' home. Enrolling into a private college was a tough decision for my parents, getting a chance to study and initially talking in this classroom actually took the entire savings of my family. And here I am, graduating soon in a few weeks time... " 

Sometimes hard work don't pay off. It doesn't mean that working super hard secures your chances of getting the excellent result you desire. It might turn the other way round. There's this sudden thought I have a few days ago: good in the past, bad in the future; strong in the past, weak in the future; smart in the past, foolish in the future; young in the past, old in the future. Human being call this the circle of life. 

*If there's an ending for every start, why start in the first place?

 Why suffer? Why struggle? #just asking.

Been missing out tons of fun stuff with my old friends lately.

I just want to get a 4+ level in all my subjects in pre-u. That's my aim for now. I shall let spm be my only regret in my academic life. To those that got straight A's, Congratulations! :D However, to those that didn't get what they wanted just like me, never give up alright! Spm doesn't mean everything but it does not mean nothing either. Just do your best in your pre-u and everything will be fine. Everything will fall back to their respective positions :)

If you ever wondered that I've cried or not. Allow me to clear your suspicions, i cried. But it's not because of the results, it's because i just cant stand to see the face of disappointment from my parents. I know they always have high hopes in me :( Nevermind, i know i've failed you guys this time but i promise I wont make the same mistake again. And readers please do me a favour, do not ask about my results okay. I will rudely not answer all of you kthxbai.

*If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.

You see there's this question. Where most of the people start asking and wandering what's the reason for the happening of that problem. When closest friends become strangers and friends turned out to be some monster that you've not seen before. Realistic. Maybe not materialistic yet but yes realistic. We are all just more realistic now. We're all adults, not really teenagers anymore. What's coming up next in life after college or during college is actually close to the "reality" about what society looks like. Power hunger? Titles? Appearance? Social status? These are what I've been observing lately. Personal opinion : It's good to step out pf the box. It's really amazing to try something that you've never imagine you'll be doing. Probably student council? President of clubs? An event organizer perhaps? But, what i noticed is most of the people i knew went for post just for the sake of getting a post. Nothing else. No passion no interest no nothing. That's it. They just want a post. WHATTT?! You're about to commit into something that you've no passion in it? You're definitely joking.

It feels weird when I know she's not around in Malaysia. I wont be going to her house; wont be sitting in the big black car driving around; wont be sleeping over with her and another of my besties - sinnye for 6 months time or maybe a time period that's far more longer than I can imagine. That awful feeling knowing that 5 of your close friends left. You can no longer see them, touch them, feel them. Well, think straight, I'm not talking about molesting them. You know whenever I start thinking that they are at another country now, my tears cant stop falling down. I dont know why. It's not like all of them are gone. At least I stil have duck, pig, bird, sausage, jelly, ivy and many of my fruit family friends around. One good question that everyone does not have an answer to it. Will the friendship last? I'm not sure. But like I say, if you make an effort to maintain it. I believe there will always be a slight chance in succeeding no matter how tough the situation is.

College life for 34 days. It's not like what I've pictured honestly speaking. Not like those dramas when you thought college will just be filled with super sexy handsome guys and extremely hot and pretty girls. I can assure you that those are just pure crap. How's my classmates? Well they are quite nice, same goes to the lecturers as well. But one thing, lecturers, stop staring at me please -.- Even though college life seem to be so nice to everyone, but honestly speaking, I don't feel anything. I miss my old friends. I miss all of them badly. Wanting to spare some time out after class just to meet up with them. But looking at their smiley faces, their facebook comments, they seem to enjoy a lot with the new friends. What for pour out what I have in my mind then? If everyone will just tell you : Life is like that, you just gotta accept the fact that your old friends are gone and you'll have to tag along with the new ones now. If that's the case, I shall just be nice to all my new friends, but I can tell you, I've found my best friend, maybe not a soulmate but yes I've found my best friend(s). And I'm not letting them go. Not until they let me go (:

Owh and one last thing. Valentine's day? Just another ordinary Tuesday. What's so great about it. Love is everywhere, it's not purely just about that someone special that you've met, going to meet or in love with him/her (: And friends, you guys should probably stop asking me to get myself a partner as soon as possible. I dont see what's the rush of having one. You think it's COOL to have one now at this age? Nahh. For me, I'll just let it be. No point rushing because I dont even know what crappy condition I'm in now :/

*College life is a new chapter of life? No. I dont think so. I can't feel the difference. At least not now, not yet.

May it be an evening star;

Shines down upon you,

May it be when darkness fall;

Your heart will be true,

May it be the shadow' s call;

Will fly away,

May it be your journey on;

To light the day,

When the night is overcome;

You may rise to find the sun.

Off to a countdown party in a few minutes time. 2011 has come to an end. Great year indeed (:

*Wishing everyone a happy new year 2012 and all the best in everything in the future (: